Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Unrealistic Expectations

From early childhood we are all surrounded by unrealistic expectations. In the fairytales we ready as a child we quickly learn that there is a prince out there for every one of us who is waiting to rescue/save us. That he will be rich, charming, and will sweep us off of our feet. We are taught that every kiss is romantic. And as we grow and experience life these unrealistic expectations are in the back of our mind, haunting us. If you watch TV today we are taught that life's problems can be fixed within thirty minutes to an hour depending on how long the show you are watching is. We are taught that drama is better than no drama. How do we reconcile all of this with our real lives? Last night around 11:00 p.m. I was watching a rerun of Sex in the City (I have the same problem as my daughter in that I can not go to sleep at night. Most nights it is between 11:00 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. before I go to sleep.) and all I kept thinking was how I wished Joe were more like Aiden. Aiden is always so calm and easy going with Carrie. No matter what problem they are going through he just wants to hold her and talk it through. He rarely gets angry with her and is so good to her. Yes I know it is a TV show and there are no children invovled in their relationship whereas we have two under the age of 4, but yet that expectation of me deserving this charming prince kept creeping into my mind. Why is Joe not good enough just the way he is? Why do I expect there to be more romance, more mind alterating kisses, more sweeping me off of my feet? As a new mom, I have wrestled with this and to date have not told my girls the stories of Cinderlla, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, etc., because I do not know how to explain to them that this is not how real life is. Why introduce them to something and then say but your life will never be like that? Granted, I do know that there are many women out there that do have these lifes, but most of us don't have lives like that. Why are there no fairytales out there with ordinary people living ordinary lives? I am very blessed. I have a husband who loves me and he tries very hard to make me happy. I have two beautiful girls that are my world. Am I living a fairytale, no. Will I ever, probably not. I am living the everydaytale, where life is hard and there are problems that take more than a day to fix. I love my life. I couldn't imagine it any other way. Am I always happy, no, but that is part of the everydaytale.

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